But hell, maybe Mom did want me to be a teenager again, someone she could control, order around. Someone who listened to her, respected her.Not that I didn’t respect her, of course. But ... well, maybe Mom wanted to go back to a time when I was a kid, instead of a young professional, on the verge of moving out.On the verge of leaving her.Don’t get me wrong - I’d thought about how much it would hurt Mom, her only child moving away, leaving her alone in a house where she’d had so many good memories with Dad.But, I mean ... I deserve a life as well. And I planned on coming back for dinner at least once a week, and had tried to spend more time with her before I left (at least, before she turned into the controlling mother from hell).So the moment I learned Dr. Williamson’s specialty, I was pretty worried about what he was doing to my mother.My fears must have manifested on my face, because he looked at me, a small smile on his face.“You’re worried,” he said, and I barely refrained from. That night if she says ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw’ you hit her with the shovel.”Steve went to the urologist complaining of discharge dripping from his penis, the doctor took one look and told him he had V.D.“No way” said the shocked Steve, blushing terribly. “It must be a cold.”“Call it what you like, Steven” said the doctor “but, until it sneezes, we’ll have to treat it for V.D.”A man was complaining to a friend “I had it all - money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then, poof! It was all gone!”“What happened?” asked the friend.“My wife found out...”A feminist was pointing out the many superiorities women have over men and I was at a loss refuting any of them, until her crowning statement that among their greatest abilities women could multi task.So I told her to shut up and sit down, you know what she couldn’t do either, although my black eye is now getting better.I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the.
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